El Dictador Diablo

Everyone knows that Cuban Maximo Leader Fidel Castro is an evil, wicked, murdering, corrupt, degenerate, satanic, harmful, sinful, vile, flagitious, depraved, perverse, rotten, villainous, criminal, disgraceful, shameful, baneful, noxious, pestiferous, pestilent, insalubrious, noisome, unwholesome, destructive, lying, cheating, hateful, greedy, annoying and all around bad man (and those are his good qualities). What you may not know about are his eating habits. We knew that while the poor people of Cuba were nearly staving on their meager rations of black beans and rice, Seńor Castro was eating well. But when we discovered what he dines on, quite frankly, we were shocked.

Boogers con Arroz

Upon close examination of photographic evidence, we were able to determine that Castro's favorite delicacy appears to be semi-dried nasal mucus... more commonly known as boogers. Apparently he "picked-up" this disgusting culinary habit as a child and continued devouring the sticky morsels through his days as a guerrilla fighter in the Sierra Maestra, where food was scarce. As you can see, he delights in showing off and eating his favorite "finger food" to this very day.

A proud Castro shows off
his "hand picked" dinner.

"Mmmmm...
muy bueno!"

Raul, come quick! I've found the solution to the hunger
crisis... it was right under my nose the whole time!

During a 478 hour speech, Castro declares he has found a
way to "personally" feed his starving nation. Even hard-line
communists are so sickened by the revelation that they try
to defect to the United States before dinner time.

Dinner With Eleggúa

Over the years, many have wondered with dismay how Castro has been able to stay in power. He has somehow survived guerrilla warfare, imprisonment in Batista's jails, an invasion, assassination attempts and the scourge of nine American Presidents. Is he just lucky, or could there be a deep, dark secret to his mysterious hold on power? We may have found the answer in this photo.

In this un-retouched photo, Castro can be clearly seen sucking
the brain out of a young boy while his father looks on in horror.
Is this how Castro gains favor with the orishas? We don't know,
but there is definitely something evil in those cold, dark eyes.

There have been

sickened visitors since May 2000.

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