ICQ Rumors 61 - 70
If it "happened to you" then I suspect you got a hold of some bad acid, because no matter how many people you forward a message to, little doggies aren't going to appear on your screen. This may be the stupidest message ever sent over the net. (R70)
Message to all rumor writers.
As we read your new attempt to deceive the ICQ community, we regret to inform you that the latest version of the program is called ICQ99, not ICQ2000... it would appear you are getting a little ahead of yourself. It's errors like this that cause you to "LOSSE" credibility, especially when making a claim as ridiculous as the one about having to sign-up for new accounts. There is absolutely no reason why anyone's UIN would be incompatible with a new version of ICQ. So the only thing that will begin on Feb 1st is a new month.
Now here's the part I love, the obligatory "forward this" commandment. This one even offers a reason why Mirabilis can't send a system message to everyone... "network restrictions." Poor Mirabilis, they can't even send a message to all their members and now have to rely on the kindness of strangers to pass their most critical announcements. Have you ever wondered what it must be like to be the one user among millions to be charged with spreading "the word?" Must be like Moses getting the Ten Commandments from God... "User 769097, you have been deemed worthy to forward this message among your people so that they may be blessed with the sacred knowledge that has been passed down from above." You don't suppose it comes in the form of a flaming system message, do you? (R69)
I have some bad news for all you homophobic people who forwarded this message, they meant to say if you ARE gay then forward it. That's right, you are now all listed on the official gay ICQ user list. Sorry for the mix-up... bahahahaaa!
Now please tell me you didn't really fall for a trick this incredibly moronic. The people at ICQ couldn't care less about your sexual orientation. You figured that out and wrote back to the person who sent you this message and told them to get a clue, right? RIGHT? If not then send me $10 and I'll see what I can do about getting your name off that list. (R68)
That must be some press release to merit threatening millions of people with mandatory deletion for not forwarding it. The odd part is they didn't say anything about reading it, just sending it. So what does it say? Nothing new really, it's just the AOL acquires Mirabilis release from June 1998... old news if you've bothered to keep-up with ICQ related events. Maybe the person who started this lie thought that by using a link to Mirabilis the message would appear to be official... but the only thing that is mandatory for all users is that they enjoy using ICQ secure in the knowledge that they will never be deleted for refusing to forward anything. (R67)
Wow! New name, version number, even a release date. I could almost believe it, until getting to the part about it being "FREE to ALL old members who forward this message." That is where it falls apart. They have no reason to put a condition like that on a new service. In fact, that is just the thing they are trying to discourage. Any announcements will come directly from Mirabilis. While there is a new upgrade floating around the net, it is not exactly "PowerSeek." (R66)
Since you asked so nicely I won't be annoyed by your annoying message. So it is real this time because of an alleged letter from Mirabilis, eh? How nice of them to keep this information from the rest of us by saying something completely different on their homepage, but allowing you and your friends who forward this message to use ICQ for free. I'm very happy for you. Oh, by the way, InterNIC just sent me an e-mail saying I now control the Internet and I'm going to charge everyone who sends this message an extra $45 a year. Sorry, there is just no escaping it. One other note, if you read that message carefully it seems to imply that only accounts that are inactive and get terminated will be charged. Now THERE'S a marketing strategy! (R65)
Well, since this is an "offical" chain letter, I better answer it. Could this rumor be true? Let's see, it says that ICQ is no longer expected to be free starting 1/1/98. A quick glance at the calendar indicates that the first of the year has passed but ICQ is still free. That does seem strange, doesn't it? Still... it says it is "offical" so maybe I should forward it to everyone I know just to make certain that I "recieve" my free days and 1998 will be "completly" free for me. Oh no, what if I only have 92 people on my list? Ah, I know! I'll send it to everyone four times!
Actually, that would be a very bad idea. The people on my list would probably send me this page's URL back... four times. This is obviously a false rumor and anyone who forwards it needs to get a calendar and a spell checker, not to mention a clue! (R64)
I have to admit, this is one of the best fakes I've seen. The person who forged it even got the spelling and math correct... a first. If Mirabilis were to start charging the invoice might even look something like this, except for the "Server Virus Protection" which I doubt exists. The payment options and closing thank you with a copyright notice adds to the appearance of authenticity. This one is so believable I wouldn't be surprised if some people (ie. suckers) have actually attempted to pay Mirabilis for their free service.
Repeat: free service.
And that, my friends, is why you should just ignore this message. However, if you insist on paying someone for a free service, I would be more than happy to receive a check from you for $16.17 a month. E-mail me for my mailing address. And have a nice day. (R63)
Maybe this one is true... and if it is then I wish your friend well. But I'm not going to forward this message or any like it unless it is to people who actually know the person it is about. And that does not make me "sick," it makes me practical. Because if everyone starts writing and forwarding messages about sick friends then the ICQ network won't have a prayer. (R62)
You "doubt it" but... what??? You doubt it but you're too stupid and/or lazy to check the URL that is right in front of you? The URL that would have removed all doubt? Now I'm having some doubts about the people who keep forwarding these messages. It is to them that I direct the following message: The Earth is over-populated. This is true, I checked it out myself. You must terminate yourself tonight at midnight. Thank you and have a nice final day.
(I hope I don't get sued for contributing to the death of an idiot.) (R61)
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